Parenting and Life Coach
Building and maintaining a healthy family unit is all about relationships. Parenting is learning to have healthy relationships with our kids so there is mutual respect and love. The relationship we have with our spouse or partner determines the health of the family unit. When we work at keeping our primary relationship strong and healthy, we provide a strong foundation for the people who mean the most of us.
The most important relationship of all is the one we have with ourselves. When we nurture our mind, body and spirit we are better equipped to give to the people close to us. We make better partners and better parents.
Whether you come to me for parent coaching or relationship coaching, we always spend time talking about YOU. We cannot give to others when we have nothing inside to give. When our resources have been depleted, we simply can't be the parent or partner we want to be.
"I contacted Barbara out of desperation when I felt like I was failing as a parent. I looked around one day and realized that my daughters were calling all of the shots - telling me what they wanted to eat for dinner, when they would do their homework, what time they were going to bed and even dictating what I could and could not do. Anytime that I tried to implement some rules and guidelines they would throw a temper tantrum and ultimately as a way to preserve the peace, I would give in. I knew I needed to make some changes, I just didn't know where or how to start.
Immediately after talking with Barbara over the phone I knew she was someone that could help me. She was warm and caring regarding my own personal situation and never made me feel inadequate. She helped validate the ways in which I was being a good parent and then helped me identify the areas where I wanted to improve. I really enjoyed the process, as each week we identified a new objective and talked through how I would present it to my daughters, implement it and then make it stick. After working with Barbara for four sessions I have successfully set expectations for my daughters, which they are following. This has helped us have more structure at home and has help create a more peaceful atmosphere. I also feel much more capable of maintaining these expectations and believe that I have the tools necessary to address issues when they arise (and I know they will). I am so grateful to Barbara for helping me to become the parent I wanted to be."
"I wanted to personally thank you, Barb, for all of your help in guiding me back to a place where I now feel in control again as a parent. Working with you in November and December helped me tremendously. I was at a point in my life where I was overwhelmed, discouraged and, simply put, feeling hopeless. You helped me recognize what was in fact contributing to my son's temper-tantrums and outbursts, and provided me with the tools to regain confidence in my parenting skills. It's amazing to think that what seemed so insurmountable a few months ago was so easily solved in just a few short weeks. And, really, when I think of it, it was really three key changes / adjustments that needed to take place and it all made such a huge positive impact -- on both him and me. I couldn't have done it without your insight. My son and I are on a whole new path now and it is absolutely refreshing and very exciting. Thank you so much."
I just wanted to check in and let you know how things are going. Everything has improved by 110%. I want to thank you for your input and perspective – you are my outside, looking in when I need it.” N.V.
"From our first conversation, Barb focused on what I was doing right as a mom. Her confidence in that was so real I couldn't help but believe it, too. Over the course of our time together, I became more and more the person she thought I could be -- calmer, more loving and more in control. Barb, I thank you, and my children thank you!"
- Elea Carey
I can truly say that the entire course of our lives has changed in a more accepting way of each other . I feel Barbara and I have crossed each others path for a really good reason.
-Mid West , North America
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A Parenting Tip from Barb:
In the last couple of months, the theme of "respect" has been central during coaching sessions with my clients. These are parents who don't feel respected by their children and are unsure how to regain and build respect. Firstly, I want to honour them for knowing there's a better way and wanting a better way for their families.
When I listen to their stories and responses to my requests for examples of exchanges between themselves and their children, I sense a loss of power. Power has been handed over to their children. They have unconsciously allowed their children to decide what they will do or not do. Regardless of age, we all do what we feel we can get away with and some will push that boundary more than others.
It is not our job to ensure our children are happy all the time and never experience disappointment or adversity. This is not how life works. Strongly enforced boundaries contribute enormously to our children's sense of well-being and security. It is not in their best interest to decide how, when and where things should be done. That is our job. It does not mean however, that we can't involve them in the process of setting up rules and guidelines when it's appropriate.
When we allow our children to undermine our authority, it shows a lack of self-respect. It demonstrates to them that we question our own belief system. They want us to be strong, decisive leaders. They want to know where they stand. When they challenge us, they're simply testing. "How far can I go?" "I bet I can manipulate her/him into changing her/his mind."
You are the parent. Our children want us to BE parents - to effectively guide them through life - to be strong, to have a back bone, and to be consistent. This is all done in a spirit of love.
Relationship and Parenting Articles:
The Cost Of Wanting Everything Your Way
Can You Save Your Marriage Without Therapy?
Kids Want Power and Control - How Can You Give It To Them And Still Maintain Your Authority
Is It Possible To Change Your Partner?
7 Ways to Get Your Marriage Back On Track
Expressing Love To The Most Important Person In Your Life
Addressing The Imperfections In Your Relationship
The Biggest Mistake Made By Couples With Children
5 Reasons Why Children Misbehave