Stick and Stones Will Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me??

We all enter the adult world with messages we received during our childhood. Some were positive and others were negative. Some came from parents, others from teachers or coaches and some from peers. You can bet if someone said to you only once: “You’ll never amount to anything” or “Why are you so stupid?” or “You can’t carry a tune” it has stuck with you. I remember when I was young a popular come-back was: “Stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” The truth is we can heal easily from most physical wounds but the psychological wounds from words take a very long time to heal. Some people never get over harsh words they heard as a child.

Sometimes it’s also what was NOT said that we remember. Working with parents I’ve often heard: “I was never complimented for things I did well” or “I grew up thinking I was stupid.”

When we forget to acknowledge effort, hard work, improvement and accomplishments our children’s internal dialogue will sound like this: “If my parents don’t think I’m great then who will? I guess I can’t do anything well. No one seems to notice when I do a good job so why bother trying.”

If children are to enter the world with a strong sense of self, a willingness to try new things and the confidence to reach great heights it’s our job to help them become the best they can be. Our words have a profound impact on the view they have of themselves. We deliver a message that will forever stay with them both by what we say and by what we DON’T say.