The Parenting Coach

Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, if you have kids, they’re out of school and will be for another ten days or so. When they’re underfoot all day, everyday, it can be stressful and demanding. What can you do to make your days run more smoothly and prevent yourself from pulling your hair out?

1. Have a sense of humour. If you’ve got a baking project going that they want to help with, so what if it doesn’t turn out as you expected. It makes a good story. Disasters are always fun to look back on. I’ve got lots of them.

2. Allow your kids to be involved in as much of the preparation as possible. Remember you are creating memories and the goal is not perfection.

3. If you’re a working parent, maximize your time together and plan for lots of family activities. Your kids want to be with you; having fun.

4. Give your kids some say in what they want to do. You can say things like: “Here are some things we could, do today, pick one.” If everyone wants to do something different, you can can say: “Today we’ll do what Michael wants to do and tomorrow we’ll do what Sarah wants to do.”

5. Try not to overdo TV and videos to keep your kids occupied but at the same time, don’t feel guilty if you need a break from the chaos.

6. Remember moms and dads don’t always agree on how to discipline or what activities are appropriate. It’s a fact of life. Pick your battles and try not to subject your kids to a lot of bickering.

I have a couple of articles posted on my website around Christmas; one is about managing stress and the other is dealing with some of the other tensions that surface at this time of year. Now that the time is fast approaching, I’m going to highlight some things we all need to keep in mind:

The more expectations we have the more we set ourselves up for disappointment. Try not to formulate an expectation around the way your family is going to respond to your preparations or how they’re going to give of their heart, time and money. Everyone does what feels right for them.

Your kids might express disappointment that they didn’t get exactly what they wanted or they won’t show gratitutde in the way you expect them to. Remember they’re self-centered beings and will get past this stage. It seems though the more we indulge them at Christmas, the less grateful they are. They appreciate their gifts much more when there are only a few things.

Accept help when it’s offered to you. Guests are happy to pitch in and it can become a great social time. Don’t try and do everything yourself.

If you’re divorced try to put your differences aside for the sake of your kids. At no time do they want to hear bad things about their other parent, but especially now. Ask yourself: How do I want my kids to remember this day?

Try to maintain routines as best you can. Kids will be staying up later than usual, but if they’re up too late we know the next day will be a challenge. Try to limit the sweets and junk food; but don’t get too anxious around some overindulgence.

Be nice to yourself. Women especially, usually carry the load around this time of year. Do whatever you need to do to stay grounded. It’s different for all of us. I know for me, it’s sleep and some form of regular exercise.