Teenagers and their Parents

I have two teenagers; Claire is eighteen and Marc is sixteen. We’re nearing the end of all that emcompasses raising teenagers. It has required vigilance on the part of my husband and I. I would say they’re both “textbook” adolescents so we’ve have to deal with a variety of situations. Claire can now look back and shake her head at some of the choices she made but feel proud that she has become a mature, responsible and productive young adult.

An attitude most teenagers adopt is one that says: “I don’t need my parents anymore. ” Even though we know they need us they try hard to make us think otherwise. Marc reminded me recently how much he depends on us being there for him. My husband frequently works out of town so it’s often just the three of us at home. While Marc and I were driving home the other day he said to me: “When is Dad coming home?” I told him he would be home that night at around midnight. He often asks me when he’s coming home. I then asked him: “How do you feel about Dad being out of town so much?” He said, “Well he’s always home on the weekends and he’s usually only gone for a couple of days at a time, so it’s OK.” I realized how central his Dad is in his life and although he doesn’t say it, he prefers it when we’re both home.

Teenagers say all sorts of things to give the impression they don’t need or want our input. We have to learn not to take their comments personally or take their remarks too seriously. They are going through a process of separating from us while at the same time needing the anchor we provide.