The Parenting Coach

I had an interesting call recently from a mother of boy/ girl twins. She was asking for some guidance around her daughter’s intense desire to win. She said she saw everything as a competition. If her brother ran a certain distance, she wanted to run just a little further. If her brother had an extra cookie, so did she. Whatever her brother did she wanted to do the same but take it just a little further. I said that it was natural for siblings to compete and especially twins but she had taken it to another level. I explained that I too had raised twins so knew what she meant by their need to compete. I helped raise my husband’s twin sons from his previous marriage and one was always trying to beat the other at whatever it was they were doing.

This mother had called me after I had given a talk to the parents of her children’s preschool on Sibling Rivalry. I talked a lot about a child’s need to feel special and that we need to be able to draw out and acknowledge each’s child’s unique talents. During my coaching call with her, she explained in detail the dynamic between her twins and from her story I wondered if her daughter might simply be wanting an identity separate from her brother. It’s easy to see twins as a unit. They are very often referred to as “the twins” rather than by their names. I admit we were guilty of that as well except that we would refer to my husband’s twin boys as “the boys” which was really no better.

My client stated that her twin daughter excelled at singing although she had never had lessons and she loved to sing. Her love of singing was something her brother didn’t share so I suggested to her that she capitalize on her daughter’s gift and create opportunities for her to showcase her talent. I said to her: “Who doesn’t love to hear a beautiful voice, especially from a young child?” I suggested that her need to compete with her brother would diminish if she knew there was something she had that belonged to her and her only. It would be “her thing”.

Some technical glitches delayed the launch of the program a tiny bit, but it officially launched this morning at 10am Eastern. The debut show topics include:

What is a Parenting Coach?
How Does a Working Mom Find Balance?
Dealing with Temper Tantrums
How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

My mind is spinning with ideas for upcoming shows and I’ll be welcoming all your suggestions and feedback. If you have a great idea for a guest, let me know. The show will be aired again on Friday and again on Saturday. So, tune in to Snippet Radio and be part of the discussion on the message board.

As tomorrow is the day we celebrate mothers, I want to offer a dedication to mothers- to- be, mothers of children of all ages, grandmothers and step-mothers.

To mothers to be, we raise a toast to you as you prepare to embark on this journey of wonder, excitement, challenges beyond your every expectation and joy that few experiences in life can exceed.

I honour all the mothers of the world who have chosen to stay home and raise their children, despite the financial sacrifices. You’ve chosen a job that society scarcely recognizes and provides no monetary reward for yet plays a profound role in shaping responsible, loving, fulfilled human beings.

I honour those who are juggling their role as mother and their paying job outside the home. My hat goes off to you all as you struggle with the guilt that often plagues the mind of a working mom while trying to pursue a chosen career. For most of us, working outside the home is a financial necessity and for others we’ve discovered that we make better mothers spending some time away from home. I support and salute you all!

I honour all the single mothers who are trying to be both Mom and Dad and are often living on minimum income. Your role is difficult and demanding. You all need our support and praise. Most of you are holding down full time jobs while trying to raise children on your own. It takes such courage and fortitude.

I honour all our mothers and grandmothers who provided us with the skills, guidance, support and love that have helped shape us into the mothers we are today. We all value your continued support and love as we raise our own children. We offer gratitude to those who helped give mothers today choices and an identity beyond our role as mother.

I honour step-mothers struggling to simultaneously define their role and blend into an existing family. Some have children of their own and are trying to facilitate the formation of new relationships and others are helping to raise their partner’s children. Step-mothers have numerous special challenges that need our support.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU ALL!

I am ecstatic to announce to you that the very first episode of THE PARENTING COACH SHOW will be aired at 10am EST on Tuesday, May 16th on Snippet Radio. The show is a weekly, hour long show aimed at covering everything related to being a parent. If you aren’t able to catch it on Tuesday morning, it will be aired again on Thursday and again on Saturday. Check the schedule for times.

The program has a message board for listeners to post comments and questions so my plan is to answer a lot of the questions on the air. I’ll also be bringing in guests to talk about things like parenting alone, blended families, dealing with allergies, living with a child with a disability, kids and nutrition and much more. I will be inviting listeners to offer suggestions for the kinds of topics they would like covered.

I’ll be counting on you to help me make this show interesting, informative and fun!

A week from today is the day we celebrate mothers. Please remember your mother, grandmother, step-mother or a mother-to-be.

I’ve added a couple of things to my Cafe Press store, especially for moms; a mug with the “I Love You” in American Sign Language as well as a tank top with the “I Love You” sign in the corner of the shirt. Go back to the home-page and click on “Apparel”. You’ll find them in the new section. You’ll have to order quickly to ensure your order arrives on time.

I’m also offering an hour of complementary coaching this month to all mothers. I’ve had an overwhelming response and continue to get calls and e-mails from moms wanting a little coaching. It’s been a lot of fun getting to know a lot of the moms from Connected Moms, the mom’s site where I have a forum. Even if I can’t fit you in this month, as long as you book in May, I can put you in for June.

My mom lives 500 miles away so I’ll be putting together a little package and shipping it north. It may only end up being a home-made card but I’ll make it special.

On Monday we drove to Seattle to see my daughter off to Guatemala where she will be volunteering for a month at an orphange called Casa Guatemala. She’s only 18 so this is her first time travelling without us for any length of time. We are so proud of her and her willingness to give of her time and energy in this way . Where she’s staying, there is no hot water, no water at all after 8pm and no electricity. I thought it was going to be hard for me to say good-bye at the airport but my sense of pride and excitement for her dominated my anxieties. She’s travelling with 12 others from her college. They’re all part of the Global Stewardship Program at Cailano College in North Vancouver. This has been my first test in “letting go.”

We’ve already had an email from Claire from Antigua where they’re staying for the first two days and we’ve had two chats via Instant Messenging. Thank God for the internet.