Personal Boundaries

I’ve just finished taping my radio show and I included a segment this week on personal boundaries. Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coachville said that one of the secrets to having a happy life was to have clear boundaries.

What does it mean to have clear boundaries? Well for one thing boundaries protect us from toxic energy. They keep us away from people that make us feel bad. They stop us from doing things to please others but hurt us. They ensure people respect our privacy.

The way to establish clear boundaries is to learn to say what you need and want and feel completely comfortable saying no. It also means being able to release yourself from the outcome. That is being able to say no or to ask for what you need or want and not worry if you’ve upset the person you’re addressing.

I came across a survey that helps determine if you are a person with issues around personal boundaries. Here are a few of the questions on the survey:

I have difficulty saying “no” to people. Never/ Seldom /Occasionally/ Often/ Usually
People take or use my things without asking me.
I find myself getting involved with people who end up hurting me.
I would rather go along with another person or other people than express what I’d really like to do.
I feel responsible for other people’s feelings.

The complete survey can be found at www.aplaceofhope.com. It was put together by Dr. Greg Jantz of the Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc.

Parents who have clear boundaries command more respect than those who don’t. They also role model, therefore teach their kids about having boundaries.