The Parenting Coach

My second cousin, Susan lives in Ottawa with her husband Tom and their two and a half year old, Henry. Susan has a blog that keeps family and friends up to date with events in their life, especially with Henry. Here is her most recent post. I just had to share it:

Sunday conversations

I’m sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. Henry’s playing with his train set. For fun I say, “Here’s what my horoscope says, Henry”, and read it out loud. His reply:

“This is what my horseybook says: ‘Go to the farm, Mr. Horsey!’”

Good advice, that.

I recently gave a talk on Discipline Vs. Punishment for about 60 parents of preschoolers. It’s a talk I give frequently that discusses the meaning of discipline and what we need to do as parents for it to be effective. I also discuss factors around punishment that researchers have taught us.

At the conclusion of the talk, there were many questions. One mom put up her hand and asked me how to handle her 4 year old at the mall. Every visit to the mall she said ends with her son kicking and screaming if he can’t have the toy he wants. My response was simple. Unless it’s absolutely necessary try to avoid taking your preschooler to the mall. There are just too many temptations, it can be over stimulating and they have to be watched and supervised constantly. It is not an environment that is conducive to the needs of a preschooler. Preschoolers want to be places where they can play, run, explore and interact with other preschoolers.

I remember I had a question once from a mom of a 19 month old who complained that he was very difficult to manage in a restaurant. She said they couldn’t enjoy their meal and that he was constantly throwing things, crying and fussing. My answer to this mom was much the same. For most 19 month olds, restaurants aren’t the best environment to be in. Do yourself a favour and eat at home. This stage doesn’t last forever I told her and before long you’ll be able to take him to a family orientated restaurant.

I’ve just returned from five glorious days in Palm Springs, California. I didn’t realize how much I needed a true vacation. I was with my sister, my mother and a close friend. We did exactly what we felt like doing, when we wanted and how we wanted to do it. It was heaven. I’ve never experienced heat like - 105 F. everyday. I loved stepping outside from our air conditioned room to bathe in the warm sun. We swam in the pool in the evenings then ended with a soak in the hot tub. The shopping was fabulous so I came up with a few additions to my wardrobe. We had roadrunners visit us in the cool of the morning as well as hummingbirds. My sister and I attended a couple of yoga classes while gazing at the desert landscape.

The time away was so therapeutic and I came back feeling renewed and refreshed. I don’t think we realize how much we need a holiday until we actually take one.