10 Nov
2006
Part of my week is spent teaching American Sign Language to babies. Part of being with moms (and sometimes dads) of infants is that the conversation at some point centers around how much their babies are sleeping or not sleeping.
I have a mom in my Friday morning group who week after week reports that her 8 month old daughter will not sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch, and that includes during the night. Mom is nursing and they are co-sleeping. She is beside herself with exhaustion and frustration. Even though we’re there to learn Sign Language I’m happy to spend some time allowing her to vent. All the other moms understand and we’re all there to support her. Many have done sleep programs that have worked so they share their experiences with her.
On top of the frustration this mom feels around the lack of sleep both she and her daughter are getting, she and her husband are at odds around how this challenge should be handled. He is against letting the baby “cry it out” and wants mom to give in to her demands to make her happy.
Another factor about this situation is that mom is a lawyer and waited until later in life to have a baby. She is going through a major transition leaving behind a well paying job and the mental stimulation her job provided, to being at home full-time with an infant. Going back to work is not an option but the life change she’s experiencing is complicating things for her.
I offered this mom the perspective that both she and her baby daughter being sleep deprived is not in anyone’s best interest. It of course is affecting her primary relationship as well as her mental health. Is this good for her baby daughter? I have not done extensive studies on the effects of crying it out nor do I consider myself to be a sleep expert. It just makes sense to me that the long term affects of sleep deprivation are harder on both mom and baby than the long term affects of any trauma a baby might experience when left to cry it out when they’re beyond 6 months old.
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