1 Apr
2007
Recently I was presented with some bad choices my son had made around school. I immediately decided as a result of his choices he would lose the privilege or driving my car for the next couple of weeks. My husband and I talked about it and he agreed it was an appropriate consequence. The next day Marc asked if we could compromise because he felt he should have been given a warning. I acknowledged that he had a point so we made some changes to the car arrangement. We also talked in detail around his choices and that it’s our job to guide him. He said he understood.
My daughter drives my car as well and at times the two of them have conflict around who gets to drive the car. I just tell them they have to work it out themselves and they always do. She was surprised we had changed the the consequence with Marc. I explained to her that when our kids do something wrong parents often react out of fear or hurt which is expressed through anger. When we calm down and give ourselves time to reflect we re-evaluate our initial response which is actually more of a reaction to something rather than a carefully thought out response.
How often do you react rather than respond to your children’s behaviors?
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