How can I help my child make friends?

One of the assumptions we make when our children start to grow is that they’ll make friends. Some children make friends very easily and others don’t.  Why is that?  First of all it’s important to understand and accept that some children are much more social than others.  That’s just who they are.  If you’re a gregarious, outgoing person don’t assume your child will be the same or conclude something is wrong if they don’t want to be around other children all the time.  Some children like to have lots of friends and do things in groups while others are happier having one or two close friends.  Some also prefer to do some things alone.

If on the other hand you have a child who is alone most of the time and friendships aren’t forming, we need to take a closer look to find out what they’re putting out.  Children who like themselves usually attract people because they’re likeable.  If they see themselves as a victim, they might find themsevles being picked on.  What we put out is exactly what we get back.  What role do we play in building our children’s confidence and self-worth?  Do we need to work on our own confidence and self-worth in order to give it to our children?   

There are some practical things we can do that to help friendships form. The first thing is to create an environment at home where friends are always welcome.  We can enrol our children in activities that support their strengths and interests and where they’re likely to meet others who share their interests.  We can make friends with parents in the neighborhood who have children the same age as ours and arrange playdates.  Sometimes forming friendships just requires a little nudge from us.