Empowerment

There has been an ongoing discussion on the business network Ryze about empowerment led by personal development coach, Jeanie Marshall.  It has heightened my awareness around certain areas of my life where I have given away my power.  I shared a personal story on the Women in Networking (W.I.N.) forum on empowerment that I’ll share here. 

My husband is a perfectionist and does a very thorough job of whatever he does.  He likes to take control of projects around the house.  He is the one who does all the painting when anything needs painting or re-painting.  The only problem is he is a procrastinator so sometimes painting jobs get put on hold for months or even years.   Once I’ve decided to do something, I like to get to it right away and work away  until it’s done.  The result is, I’m often carrying around resentment because of the many projects that are on hold until my husband gets around to doing them. 

After reading some of Jeanie’s articles on empowerment I suddenly realized how I had given a lot of my power away by not stepping up and getting things started myself.  We have bathroom renovations going on right now.  I decided I wanted our ensuite painted a different color to which my husband was agreeable.  My thoughts immediately went to “Here we go again.  It could be months before I see a new paint color on the wall.” 

I took the first step by choosing a paint color.  We went together to buy the paint but there it sat.  “I’ll start next weekend” my husband said.  After 23 years of marriage I knew that “next weekend” could mean six months from now.  I’ve watched him prepare the walls enough times to know what needs to be done.  While he was out of town last week I decided to take matters into my own hands and took everything off the walls, filled and sanded the holes, washed down the walls with TSP then applied the undercoat. I was so proud of myself!  Why did it take me so long to realize I had given away so much of my power.  I can do this!

My husband returned from his business trip and two days later painted the bathroom, plus installed the new light fixture.  The project isn’t quite complete but much closer to completion than if I’d left all the work up to him thinking I couldn’t do anything. 

I know now I can tackle the next painting project.  I don’t need to let anyone convince me I can’t do it.  I can and will!  My relationship did not suffer from my actions, on little bit.