Making the transition from naps to no naps

I’m working with a mom right now whose 3 year old has decided he doesn’t want to nap anymore.  He will sometimes sleep for up to 2 hours in the afternoon but other days he doesn’t sleep at all and just wants to play.

Those of us who have raised children have been there.  The transition from napping everyday to no naps can be stressful.  It can happen as early as 18 months or as late as 3 1/2.  Every child is different and they all have their own rhythm.  It might be that your first born napped every afternoon until they were close to 3 but your second stopped napping before their second birthday. 

It’s my belief that even though a preschooler is no longer napping, they need some down time in the afternoon.  They are less likely to have a melt-down late in the afternoon or fall asleep at 5pm rather than 7:30 or 8. We can just call it “quiet time” rather than “nap time.”  It’s a time when you might want to offer a movie while they lay on the couch or curl up in a big chair.  They might want to look at books or do some quiet puzzles.  When my children were small I used it as a time to wind down as well and would often lay on the couch to help set the tone.  It only needs to be an hour and you can even set a timer and let them know when the timer goes off quiet time is over.  Children love routine and to know what comes next.  If you get used to labeling the time after lunch “quiet time” they’ll soon pick up the term and learn that it’s a time to do quiet things in the house. 

Sometimes it’s better for a child to be in his/her room during quiet time so there are fewer distractions.  They don’t have to be in their bed but they can be quietly playing with something.

There are many transitions during childhood which means they are transitions for us as well.  We have to accept that one stage has come to a conclusion and now we’re onto something new.  I’ll often hear parents say “I don’t know what happened to my little girl” or “This is behavior I’ve never seen before.”  For us it means responding to what is rather than what was or what we wish for.  It can take a little bit of time to adjust and we can be gentle with ourselves as we move into a new phase.  There will be a period of trial and error.  That’s OK.