Parenting a child with a disability

Today I gave a talk on “Parenting Your Hard of Hearing Child” for a group of parents here in British Columbia.  We began by brainstorming special considerations when raising a child who is deaf or hard of hearing.  We talked about how much they miss by not hearing the sounds around them.  We can easily forget that they didn’t hear when we asked them to do something or not to do something.  Even though a child wears a hearing aid and has speech they still miss out on a lot. 

The majority of my talk was aimed at all children whether or not they have a disability.  Children with disabilities are more the same as other children than different.  They have a need to be recognized, valued, to have some power and control and to feel safe.  Like any other child we need to be consistent with our parenting and say what we mean and mean what we say.  We need to pay attention to their strengths and abilities and focus on those rather than on their weaknesses or their disabilities.  We need to feel comfortable saying NO and not over indulge because we feel guilty or pity for their disability.

There is a tendancy to rescue and do things for children with disabilities that they can learn to do themselves.  All children love to be able to say:  “I can do that all by myself.” 

Parenting a child with a disability has added challenges for sure but first and foremost your disabled child is a child first.