The Parenting Coach

This week I gave a short talk to a group of young moms about toddlers.  I talked about where they are in terms of their development and how to discipline them.  I wanted to distinguish between discipline and punishment and give them a few tips around what was appropriate at this age. 

One of the things I always stress to parents of toddlers is the importance of baby-proofing.  I know most people do and you can spend a lot of money buying different gadgets to  help you.  Toddlers need to explore their world freely.  They need to be able to reach, touch, squeeze, smell and they’ll often want to taste.  They don’t know the different between a piece of plastic and a family treasure so it’s important anything breakable or valuable be put out of reach and of course anything that poses any kind of danger needs to be out of reach.

I also talked about the importance of limiting the number of times you say “no”.  The more they hear it, the more they’ll say it when they start to talk.  It doesn’t mean of course that they should never hear the word.  One mom asked me about taking toddlers to other people’s houses and wasn’t it important to learn the word “no” so they know not to touch other people’s things.  I told her that the easiest thing to do at this stage is to stick to places that are child-proof so you don’t have to be constantly saying “no” and “don’t touch”.  It’s a very brief time in the life of a child.  At this stage everything is interesting and the most natural thing for them to do is explore.  We don’t want to stifle that.  It’s not always possible to stick to places that are child friendly, but if we can we make life much easier on ourselves and on our toddlers.

Again, this does not mean you should never use the word “no” or never say “don’t touch”.  It just means we don’t want to place them in an environment where that’s all they’re hearing.  Soon these years will be behind you and you’re focus will be on completely different issues. 

We’re been experiencing a major snow fall here in Vancouver over the last 48 hours.  We have an accumulation of about 4 inches which is enough to slide down a hill in a sleigh.  Looking out our window we can see a growing crowd of kids playing on the hill near our house.  It’s the same hill our own kids played on when they were little. 

Both my husband and I grew up in places where winter meant lots of snow and cold weather.  It went on for months.  Our playground was any open area where you could build a fort or a snow man, make an angel in the snow, throw snow balls or slide down a hill.  We didn’t need anyone to tell us what to do; we just used our imagination as soon as we got outside.  We would be occupied for hours and only come in when we felt our cheeks or toes starting to freeze. 

A strange thing just happened.  Since starting this post two days ago, the snow has almost completely melted.  We’ve experience what they’re calling a “Pineapple Express”.  The weather has turned very mild.  It’s a reminder to savour all the magical moments in life!