Dinner out with a toddler

Yesterday I was interviewed by John Downs of Am Radio 640 in Toronto, on the subject of babies and toddlers in restaurants.  He referred me to a story he’d read in the New York Times about mothers in bars and pubs with their babies.  He told me he had been out for dinner the evening before and was sitting next to a family with a toddler and a baby.  He said the baby cried for 20 minutes.  He acknowledged that parents have a right to go out but he didn’t want to be listening to a fussy toddler and a baby crying while he was trying to enjoy his meal.  “Am I just being a jerk?  Is it selfish of me to not want to be around babies when I’m eating out?” he asked me. 

For the most part toddlers and babies don’t do well in restaurants.  Some will sit nicely and are very easy to bring anywhere but most are easily agitated and want to do things toddlers and babies do.  They’re simply acting their age.  They’re not being overly demanding or badly behaved.  My answer was: “No, you’re not being selfish when you say you want to eat without listening to a baby cry.”  It’s not fair on the restaurant owners, the people eating, the parents or the babies.  Also, many people go out to a nice restaurant to enjoy a quiet evening with adults.

My son was a very active toddler.   That is putting is mildly.  He would run under the tables and climb on the table and want to run around.  It didn’t matter how many things we brought to occupy him. We quickly concluded that dining out with him unless it was a family oriented restaurant was not a good idea.  It was too hard on everyone.  It was easier on all of us just to accept that.  People will often ask me “Well how are they ever going to learn?”  They will learn when they’re ready.  This is not the time to teach restaurant etiquette or patience. 

I love to tell parents that my son soon learned to behave in restaurants and going out with him was a pleasure.  I knew he would grow out of it.  He’s 18 now and even works in a restaurant. 

 My husband was working out of town on Valentine’s Day so I decided to make a date with the other man in my life; my son.  Here we are eating out together.  This is the same boy who would not sit still for two minutes in a restaurant.