12 Mar
2008
Is knowing how to discipline effectively the only way to bring about a peaceful home? Yes, it’s one way but it’s not everything. There are many things we need to take into consideration if things aren’t going well at home.I’ve worked with many, many parents privately. They normally come to me with a specific challenge they’re having with their parenting. It could be that their children are fighting all the time, or their toddler is having tantrums every day, or their teen is disrespectful or their kids simply “never listen.” Sometimes I hear that their child is “angry” all the time.
One tool I use as a coach that I’ve found particularly helpful is to look at a child’s day from a bird’s eye view. I ask for an account of a typical day from when their child first gets up in the morning until the time he/she goes to bed at night. It’s often easy to see where there are gaps or an excess of something or too little of something else.
Parents who are home all day with young children can easily experience burn-out. There is a constant demand on them emotionally and physically. When that happens our patience is tested and we often become short tempered. We think the problem is our children and they just “don’t listen.” One of the first things I look at is how much time the parent spends with other adults, or doing things on their own, out of the house without their children. Very often I discover the time they spend away from their children is minimal.
When we make an effort to recharge; whatever that means to you, we have a lot more patience and can tolerate things we can’t tolerate when we’re constantly pulled in multiple directions. We find things that made our tempers flare will often go unnoticed when we’ve had a night out with friends or with our partner or spent an hour at the gym or whatever it is that make us feel refreshed and recharged.
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