2 May
2008
I was coaching a mom of a two and four year old yesterday. Among other things she wanted some tips around whining. I sympathized with her frustration. It has to be one of the most irritating of all the behaviors that challenge us. These are the tips I gave her:
- Whining is often a way to get attention. Try to ignore it completely if you can.
- Instead of asking your child to stop whining, state what you want. Whatever we focus on is what we get more of so if we’re repeatedly asking a child to stop whining we’ll probably get more whining. So you can say: “I need to hear your nice voice”
- Use positive reinforcement. Say things like: “I like the way you asked me” or “When you want something and you ask that way, it’s a pleasure to help you.”
- Try saying: “As soon as you stop whining, I’ll be happy to listen to you.” If you have to repeat yourself several times, do so but keep your voice calm.
David Leonhardt
15 May 2008
Similar tactics when they demand rather than asking or when they shout their needs at us. “How do day that nicely?” and wait. Or sometimes, “I don’t listen when you shout at me. When you sak nicely, I will listen.”