21 Sep
2008
Your pre-teen is on the verge of becoming a full-blown teenager so part of them is hanging on to their childhood and the other part of them is being lured by the teenage world. Some of you may already be experiencing the “You know nothing, I know everything” phase. They are becoming more independent and some will want more independence than they’re ready for. It’s important we keep in mind that we are still in charge and they aren’t yet teens. There are a few things to consciously avoid.
1. Lecturing or nagging around the amount of time your pre-teen spends in front of a monitor only creates resistance. It simply doesn’t work to motivate a child to do anything.
2. Saying: “When I was your age I did this or that” doesn’t work. It didn’t work with us and it doesn’t work with them.
3. Demanding your child stop doing what they’re doing or demanding they do something immediately doesn’t result in co-operation. When we feel pushed to do something, we want to push back. That applies to all ages. “Get off that computer right now!!!” doesn’t achieve the results we’re looking for.
4. Avoid spending long hours in front of the TV or computer yourself. We can’t ask our kids to do something when we’re role modeling the opposite.
5. Don’t take ownership of your pre-teen’s problems. If they choose not to do their homework or finish their school project on time, it is not your problem. Give them the opportunity to learn through consequences.
6. Don’t feel you have to buy the latest gadget because “everyone else has one”. Give your child an allowance so they can start saving for the things they want or at least pay a portion.
7. Avoid comparing your pre-teen with one who is more productive, more talented or more motivated. It only results in a child thinking: “I’ll never measure up.”
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