12 Mar
2009
For the past umpteen years I’ve worn my hair the same; short and cut around the ears. I have a small face and small features and it seems it’s really the only style that suits me. It was starting to grow quite long, that is long by my standards and my hairdresser convinced me to try something a little different and grow it over my ears. I guess we were sort of going for some kind of a bob. On most women a well cut bob looks great. When I first got home I looked at my hair and decided I just couldn’t work with it. I didn’t know how to blow dry it and brush it so it looked nice. Eventually though I seemed to figure out a way of doing it and I made a huge discovery. I’d been using way to much conditioner which I realized was one of the reasons I was having so many bad hair days. Why was I using so much conditioner? I have no idea but one day a voice popped into my head that suggested I try just using a drop instead of a whole handful. What a difference it made. Now it was soft and manageable. Where on earth I got the idea I needed so much, I don’t know.
After six weeks of adjusting to this radical new style I decided I’d keep it going and went in for a trim two days ago. By then it was longer at the sides than I’d had it for years and years although I doubt most people that know me even noticed anything was different. Nadia trimmed my hair and styled it. I quite liked the end result. It was really starting to look like a bob and had more style than the previous cut. As soon as I got home I looked in the mirror and everything inside me said “This is NOT you!” I didn’t like it and started fiddling with it so it looked more like what I used to have. When my husband came home I said: “How do you like my hair?” He just stared at me and said “It looks better shorter”. I agreed. He also said my old style brings out my eyes more and I agreed with that as well. That night I went to my yoga class and as I’m in mid downward facing dog all I could think about was hair and how I really didn’t like the style but how was I going to go back and tell Nadia. The logical part of me knew that was ridiculous and she would happily fix it to my liking. I was thinking of the workshop I had to do today and that I would be conscious of my hair the whole time. How vain is that? I went to bed wondering how I was going to deal with this. I decided I’d call my hairdresser first thing in the morning to see if I could get in to get more cut off. She said for me to come in an hour. I rehearsed what I was going to say so she didn’t think I left my last appointment saying I liked my hair when I really didn’t. I THOUGHT I liked it. I really did! But….I changed my mind when I got home. I kept thinking that it was just because I wasn’t used to it and I would adjust. Nadia in her warm, loving way said: “Oh, don’t worry about me! I remember once getting my hair cut five times in one month!”. She happily cut more off my hair and I’m back to my style and feeling like me again. Yay!!
What did this all teach me? So often we don’t say things or do things because we’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings but in the process we hurt ourselves. We really don’t give others enough credit for being able to handle our honesty. What was I thinking? I came home after the repair feeling so empowered and happy. I share this story because when we do things to try and please others because we’re afraid of disappointing someone or afraid of rejection, we please no one and we teach our kids to do the same.
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