Every Child Is Gifted

For over 20 years I’ve been presenting workshops to parents.  I present on a variety of topics but invariably the topic of self-worth comes up which always prompts me to say:  “Everyone of you here has a gifted child.”  I realize when we think of “gifted” we think of children who are born with an exceptionally high IQ or outstanding musical talent and we know there are many who fall into that category.  Every child though is born with a gift; a special talent.  It may not be something that is going to win them a scholarship to Harvard or an academy award but each of us has something  we’re good at. 

When children are given an opportunity to shine at what they’re good at, they’re much better equipped to accept the things they’re not so good at.  They’re less likely to define themselves by their defeats or “failures”.  That is of course if we capitalize on their strengths rather than on their weaknesses.  It doesn’t mean insisting that whatever they do they be the best.  Pushing our kids to be the best sets a standard that if not met, they feel they’ve somehow failed or let us down.  It takes away from the enjoyment of the activity and promotes an attitude of “If I can’t be the best, there’s no point in doing it”. 

How can we identify our children’s strengths and special abilities?  When given a choice, what is it they’re most likely to choose?  What do they like to talk about?  What do they get excited about?  In the early years, we can’t always identify their gifts are so we expose them to a variety of activities and experiences.  We watch for the things that capture their excitement and interest.  Interests of course change over time but we’ll notice there are certain things they continue to be drawn to.

Sometimes we have our own agenda for our children.  We grew up playing a musical instrument or playing a particular sport and make the assumption our kids will follow. Or we might have aspired to be a great hockey player so we decide our son or daughter is going to live out that dream instead.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t but it’s none of our business.  Every child will shine at something and it is not for us to decide what that is.  If we want them to be successful in life, that is happy and fulfilled in what they do, we will leave it up to them to follow their heart and we will nurture and support that journey.  It sends the message:  “I love you exactly as you are”.