Toddlers and Mealtimes

I’ve recently had conversations with parents who want some guidance around getting their toddler to sit at the table.  As with all stages children go through, it’s important to know what to expect and what is typical behavior for different ages.  What sometimes is seen as “bad behavior” is actually very characteristic of that age and nothing to be concerned about.  

This is what we know about toddlers.  They have very short attention spans and also find it very difficult to sit still for any length of time.  They’re always on the move.  Our need for the family to convene at meal times and teach our children to sit nicely at the table for the duration of the meal often goes against what toddlers are capable of.  Sometimes we can be successful if there’s some kind of motivation.  

Over the years the advice I’ve given to parents is to let go of any expectations your toddler is going to sit at the table.  (That is not to say that some will sit and sit very well.)  What’s important is that whatever they’re eating, whenever that happens to be, is healthy and balanced.  They usually prefer to graze.  They do well eating small portions of finger food, several times a day.  They are only this age for a very short time and soon they will be old enough to sit at the table and enjoy the meal with the rest of the family.  Am I implying that the family meal is not important?  Not at all.  I am suggesting there are times to learn these things when we’re more likely to experience success.

Parenting a toddler is very labor intensive.  We have to be constantly vigilant which can be exhausting.  In my opinion, it’s YOU that needs to sit at the table and enjoy your meal without having to struggle with a toddler who wants to be playing.  My youngest son was a very active toddler who would not, no matter how hard we tried, sit at the table.  I finally realized that it was in my best interest and his, that I sit and enjoy my meal and allow myself to digest properly.  I knew there would soon come a time when he would be more interested and able to sit with us and enjoy the family meal.  It took a lot of stress away when I just let go.  It was one of the many stages that was temporary.