Finding Balance With Work And Family

A few days ago I gave a workshop on Work/Family Balance to a group of working parents.  They were all parents of young children.  I asked what challenged them the most.  They said things like guilt, meeting the needs of so many people, finding “me” time, finding couple time and transitioning from the work day to life at home with young children. 

I’m not sure if it’s possible to have perfect balance when we’re wearing two hats; especially in the early years.  We can though take inventory of our daily routine and see what adjustments can be made so there’s more down time.  I think we’ve taken the 20th century reality and tried to fit it into the 21st century and it doesn’t work.  We simply can’t do it all, all at the same time, without something suffering.  One mom said with so many demands she feels she only does an adequate job of both her paid job and parenting. 

One of the exercises I did with the group was ask someone to give us their typical day.  The mom that volunteered had a day that started at 6am and ended at 11:30pm.  When asked what her biggest challenges were she said trying to keep up with housework and the meals.  She also said she and her husband had little time together.  With both parents working full time, we all decided hiring someone to come in regularly to do housework would give her space in the day; especially the evening.  We also suggested putting time aside for meal planning would save a lot of time and money.  One mom in the group said she and her husband put aside a half an hour every Sunday to plan their meals for the week and they had a master grocery list.  We all agreed meal planning was a huge time saver plus saved money because you’re much less likely to eat out when you know ahead of time what’s for dinner and you have what you need. 

I took time during the workshop to emphasize the importance of nurturing our partnership.  It’s so easy to forget about date nights and time together.  With the many demands of the week,  we forget about the value of spending time together.  Children need us to keep the foundation strong; to maintain unity.  Often we can let some of the household tasks slide in favor of supporting our primary relationship.  Delegating can be hard to do if you’re not used to it, but there are times when it’s essential. 

There really is no such thing as having all aspects of our life in perfect harmony.  We work towards that end but it’s not easy.  We can though take a hard look to see if we’re living a life that is truely aligned with our values and spending time on the things that matter the most.