What Is The Impact of Over-Scheduling?

This week I gave a talk to a group of about 25 parents on the topic of over-scheduling.  Rather than present facts and opinions for an hour and a half, I decided to make the workshop completely interactive and allow the group to come up with answers to the questions I presented. 

I first of all wanted to get a general idea of the ages of their children and how many activities they were involved in.  Virtually everyone who attended had children under the age of 10 and most had children under age 5.  Everyone had their children in at least one activity and one set of parents had them in 6 activities.  The average seemed to be about 3.  The parents who had their children in only 1 activity were parents of toddlers.  One mom reported that her husband was anxious to get their 2 1/2 year old son into hockey. 

My next question to the group was “Why do we enrol our kids in extra-curricular activities?”.  They said things like “We want to give our kids exposure to as many things as possible so they are better able to choose the things they like” or “We don’t want our kids to be left out if the majority of their friends know how to play soccer, or soft ball or other activities”, ” or “It will give them an advantage when they become adults”, and some said they felt pressure from other parents to have their kids enrolled in multiple activities.  There were other reasons; all equally well-intentioned. 

From there, I wanted to discuss the impact on the family when our calendars are full of activities.  These are some of the things I heard:  “Siblings don’t get to see much of each other”, “All the focus is on the kids and there is very little couple time”, “Eating is often on the run so we don’t eat as well”, “Transitions are difficult which leads to a lot of nagging and yelling”, “Parents are stressed all the time”.  “There is almost no down-time” and “Very little family time.”  It was interesting to me that people came up with the answers very easily and we ended up with a fairly long list. 

Now that the audience was conscious of the impact of over-scheduling, I wanted then to  lead the discussion towards the things we value in life.  I put out questions like:  “How many of you value family time?”, “How many of you think healthy eating is important?”, “Why do we have more than one child?”, “How many of you value the relationship you have with your partner?”, “Why is it important for us to have down time?”  My questions stirred a lot of discussion so I then asked: “How are these things that we say are important, aligned with this list here (Impact on the family)?”

I wanted then to raise some awareness around the long term affects of over-scheduling.  I asked:  “If children have been enrolled in many activities since they were preschoolers, what do you think the impact will be when they become teenagers?”  People agreed that by the time their children became teenagers, they’d be burned out.  There was the possibility they’d lose interest in everything.  We talked about the potential to feel pressure from a childhood where there was always a push to get better at something.  I asked if anyone thought there was a possibility all this stress and pressure could lead to depression.  Many people raised their hand.

I ended the workshop with a brief discussion around the value of silence and when we really are the most creative.  People agreed that we are the most creative when left alone to explore and create on our own.  I wanted to know if anyone had read any research that suggested that adults who are the most successful in life are those who attented multiple extra-curricular activities.  No one said they had.